And now, because I know you have all been waiting patiently, here is my essay that I read in the Listen to Your Mother show in Northwest Arkansas on May 30. The You Tube video will be posted later this summer....hopefully the edited version, which will NOT show me tripping off the stage.
My Hands Are Full, But So Is My Heart
Once upon a time there was a happy couple with one sweet
daughter. One day, the wife lost her
mind and suggested that they have another baby.
Let this story be a lesson to be very careful what you wish for. And be very specific. You see, this story is about me; I’m that
wife. And we didn’t get one more baby, we got two. Yes, twins—a
boy and a girl.
Being the mother of twins has been such a crazy experience. The crazy actually started on the day we
found out I was carrying twins, at 19 ½ weeks!
Now, I’m no genius, but this wasn’t my first pregnancy either. Shouldn’t we have known this much, much
sooner in the process? Talk about a
shock! Even my doctor was shocked and
speechless. My reaction? First, I cried. Then, I laughed. Hysterically.
My husband turned pale and never said a word. Several nurses came into the exam room to
check on us during that visit. By “check
on us,” I mean to make sure we weren’t about to jump off the roof or something.
By the time I came to terms with what was going on inside my
body, I realized that I wasn’t entirely prepared to deal with other
people. I don’t know if it was due to a
double dose of hormones or what, but people just started to annoy me. Don’t tell anyone, but I once yelled at a
Walmart checker for being too slow. I
felt really badly about it for a little while.
The biggest problem I had was with random, nosey strangers
who asked stupid, and often, very personal questions. By far, the most often asked question was,
“What are you going to do?” after I told someone I was expecting twins. My answer came with a smile and a shrug, “Oh,
we’ll manage.” By the 234th
time I was asked that, I’d come up with a better answer, such as: “I’m thinking of ditching them at the
hospital.”
Another popular question was, “Oh my, how are you going to
afford two babies?” This is not a good
question to ask someone who is suddenly and unexpectedly faced with the challenge
of needing a bigger house, a bigger vehicle and feeding and diapering two
babies. That one could have easily gotten a few people punched.
Unfortunately, the dumb questions didn’t stop after the
twins were born. Early on, I got asked a
lot if they are identical….usually while they were with me, dressed in blue and
pink, respectively. I’d just take a deep
breath and politely point out that one is a boy and the other is a girl. Deep down, just one time, I really wanted to
say, “No,
my daughter doesn’t have a penis!”
Seriously, I cannot be the only person who understands anatomy. They are almost three years old now, and
thankfully, we rarely get asked that question anymore.
Besides biting my tongue, this crazy experience has taught
me so much about myself and what it means to be a mom. For example, I learned that I’m stronger than
I thought, both mentally and physically.
Have you ever tried to walk while holding two infant carriers at
once? Not easy. And I’m not that graceful to begin with.
I’ve also learned some other valuable life skills, such as
making a peanut butter sandwich with one hand, bottle feeding two wobbly-headed
infants at the same time and driving across the state alone, with three kids
under age five. I really don’t recommend
trying that last one. Oh! And I can also
fall asleep on demand, anytime and anywhere.
That one is really a blessing and a curse.
But perhaps most importantly, I’ve figured out what that
saying “my cup runneth over” means. There’s
nothing better than coming home from work and being met at the door by my three
sweeties. As difficult as it can be
sometimes, I know that I was born to be their mommy…to love them, teach them
and watch them grow. I love watching
them play together and figure out things together. They are at such a special age now, full of
questions and mischief. But I know it
will all go by too quickly.
Yes, I’ve been blessed so much that my cup does indeed
runneth over. But, sadly, the dishes in
my sink and the laundry in the hamper also runneth over.