I’m not into New Year’s resolutions, and never have
been. It’s hard for me to set challenges
for myself because I don’t like the possibility of failing. In
this season of my life, things are so hectic and always changing. That is why there are no goals, expectations
or plans for the new year; I just try to do the best I can with what I have.
Many of my blogger buddies have chosen special “words” to
focus on for the coming year. I’ve seen
things like focus, simplify, and intention floating around
out there. While I’m all for the concept
of having a deliberate theme or plan, I just couldn’t settle on anything for
myself. Maybe I am not giving it a fair
chance, or maybe I cannot concentrate on the task long enough to even think of a
word.
However, while I was pondering this concept over my blogging
vacation, I did have an interesting thought.
There is something I want to not focus on this year, or take out
of my vocabulary. Kind of the opposite
idea of the exercise, but still worthwhile.
My problem is with saying “I can’t.” I’ve come to realize that it’s really a
crutch for me because sometimes it’s just easier to say “I can’t” than to put
in the real effort to accomplish the task.
Ironically, I’ve also noticed that I’m rather annoyed with
my kids when they rely on can’t. For example, when he is searching for
something, Boy Twin is quick to whine, “I can’t find it” and ask for my
help. In reality, he hasn’t even tried
to find the book/toy/shoe in question. I
want my kids to be independent and at least make an effort to do something on
their own the first time, without requesting help.
Big Sis taught me a little something about can’t
recently. She said this is a theme they
focus on at her school. Apparently,
there is a sign that hangs in the hallway that encourages the students to
instead say, “I can’t…yet.” I love this! Since she shared this with me, I’ve been more
mindful to encourage her at home by adding the yet on the end of that
statement.
So, in this new year, I’m not going to say that I can lose
30 pounds and set myself up for disappointment, but I’m not going to say that I can’t
either. And I won’t say that I can run a
whole 5K by my birthday, but I won’t say that I can’t either. I’m going to help remind my kids that maybe
if we think we can’t, it only means that we just can’t do it yet.