A Challenging Challenge

You know those little mind games you play with yourself? Oh, like "today I will quit eating sweets" or "starting tomorrow I will eat more vegetables?"  Come on, it can't just be me.  I do it all the time.

I've been trying to get in shape since forever. Well, really since the twins were born almost four years ago. But, let's face it, with three kids and a full-time job outside the home, the time and energy just aren't there--especially when the kids weren't sleeping through the night. I would start to exercise, do it for a couple of weeks, then just quit. It's always easier to quit.

I've always been (a little bit) athletic, but I wouldn't call myself an "athlete." I like to be active and actually enjoy some kinds of exercise. But again, time is not on my side. I work all day and then go home and work half the night; I'm tired. I know that some people will think that's just an excuse, and maybe it is, but that's my reality at this point in my life.

 

But something happened last month that got me motivated. I started keeping up with my friend Jasmine and how she set a goal for herself to run 50 miles in March. Now, first let me say this...Jasmine is in waaaay better shape than me; she plays roller derby and she runs.  I don't run and never have. My body just wasn't made for running. But I started watching her and, oops!, got a little bit inspired by her determination.

 

So I decided that I would challenge myself. I know that 50 miles of anything besides driving is unrealistic for me, but I decided to go for 30 miles in the month of April. For me, the miles will be mostly walking, but I have worked up to running a little bit--actually more than I ever have in my life. 

Here we are at the mid-point of the month and I've clocked 16.5 miles so far. It looks like I'm gonna make it! So, what am I doing?

 

For me, the exercise window is very small. I prefer to get the workout done first thing in the morning, while I still have full energy. Problem is that I'm home alone with the kiddos, so the exercise has to be indoors at home. Hello, 4:50am alarm! Another problem is that I like to sleep, so that 4:50am thing doesn't always work for me. Morning walks/jogs happen at 5:00am so I have time to get us all ready to go before 8:00am. I can realistically squeeze in two miles in the mornings. Weekends are more flexible with Lee at home, and now that it's getting warmer, I prefer to be outside.

 

Now that I've gone all public with my challenge, I hope this motivates me to stick with it. If I hit the 30 mark for April, then I plan to up the mileage for May. I'm feeling good about my progress, now I just hope that I start to see some results from all the hard work.

Anticipation

I can honestly say that I've never given much thought to the word "anticipation" until this week.  In reality, I guess it's a word that I can't even recall using much before.  I know there is even an old song about it, so it must be an important word, right? 

 

Well let me tell you, there is some major anticipation (not to be confused with constipation) going on in my house this week.  Lee and I are anticipating our 10th anniversary next week!  And we are really anticipating our upcoming trip to Las Vegas to celebrate.  A vacation!  Alone!  Out of town! Without kids! Is that too much? 

 

Normally I'm pretty even-keeled and not too excitable, so this is a strange feeling to me.  And by strange I mean JOYOUS!  There are a few times I can remember dealing with some serious anticipation, like when I was in high school waiting for my trips to Fayetteville to see THE BOY.  In college, I always looked forward to my Wednesday nights at Doc Murdock's when I was (almost) legal age.  And, of course, there was the anticipation of college graduation and waiting through nine months of pregnancy twice. 

 

The best I can remember, Lee and I haven't been alone away from home for more than two nights since the twins were born.  As much as we love those little turkeys, we really need a break from the cooking, cleaning, laundry and butt-wiping that goes on daily in our household.  I can also promise that I won't be having mac and cheese or juice boxes for an entire week.

 

It's been over seven years since our last trip to Las Vegas, so we are definitely ready to get there and see what's new.  There is so much to see and do besides gamble; this time we are finally going to do some sightseeing off the Strip.  We can set our own schedule or have no schedule at all; we can drink fruity drinks and stay up all night (ha)....it's our vacation!

 

Ten years.  Ahhhh, so much can happen in ten years.  We've each had a parent diagnosed with cancer, we've nursed and said good-bye to both of Lee's parents, we got our first dog, had our first child, moved once and lived through the shock of having twins.  Who would have thought when we got married on that sandy beach in Florida in 2004, that all this would happen to us in ten short years?  It's been a wild ride, and plenty difficult at times, but I sure wouldn't change a thing if I could.  I'll be anticipating the next ten years for sure.

 



Twin Tuesday (but shhhh! It's Wednesday)

My babies are total ROCK. STARS.  We went yesterday for their first dental appointments, and they did fantastic!  No tears, no clinging, no clamping mouths shut.....not like someone else we know.  *cough* Big Sister

After all the trouble we've had getting Big Sis to cooperate with the dentist, we decided to try a pediatric dentist for the kids. Big Sis went about two weeks ago, and apparently, was only impressed that she got to watch Tangled in the chair (for the entire two minutes that she sat there). Never mind all the kid-friendly decor, fish tanks and other goodies for the kids.

These two walked in there like they owned the place. They hopped right up in the chairs and let the ladies do everything they asked.  They both got excellent reports with good, healthy and clean teeth!  The dentist said they are doing a very good job brushing their teeth; this makes mama happy since I know we *might* sometimes be skipping the brushing on crazy nights.  And, they both have all their baby teeth. That's 20 teeth, if you are wondering.

They are probably going to kill me over these pictures when they get older. But for now, it's the cutest thing ever! My babies aren't babies anymore....*sob*.

New Year, New Perspective

It's no secret that I'm a worrier. I spend a lot of time worrying about things....some are important, some are not.  Some are legitimate issues (Is my kid's cough just a cold or should we go to the doctor?) and some are stupid things (Maybe I should mop the floor in case someone comes over).

With the new year, I'm really trying to get a handle on things.  The last three years have been pretty tough, I'm not going to lie.  Being overwhelmingly pregnant with two energy-zapping humans and exhausted with a toddler, then having two infants plus a toddler at home and now, having TWO rowdy two-year-olds with a kindergartner is enough to make this worry-wart mama crazy. And tired.  And all this while working full-time outside the home!

I started making a list of the things that "keep me up at night," as they say.  Here it is:

1--My dieting/exercising/losing weight---or lack of it.  It's hard to believe I used to be a gym rat.  Religiously, every day.  I was still going to Body Pump classes and lifting weights when I was seven months preggers with Big Sis.  I miss it. Since the twins came along, I've started and stopped exercising a hundred times.  I've tried walking with and without them, going to Zumba classes and even 5:00 am workout videos in my living room.  I just can't make it work. I'm tired and I just don't have time. I don't get enough sleep as it is, and the kids need my attention when I'm home.  I got a treadmill a few months ago and it sits in the living room just staring at me.  Sometimes I get on it, and sometimes I don't.  I try.  In fact, the other day I was on it and Boy Twin flipped the power switch to 'OFF' while I was jogging, and I almost broke my neck.  It's impossible! For now, I'm going to give myself a break---do what I can, when I can and not beat myself up over it.

2--Feeding my kids healthy food.  Every time I read something about food, I worry. Are they eating too much processed food? Is milk going to hurt them? Should I spend more and buy organic?  Eat meat, not eat meat? What about preservatives and food dyes? It's very confusing to figure out what's right.  I don't want my girls wearing B cups when they are 10 years old, but how can I control their diets enough to avoid it?  Finally I just decided that I'm doing the best I can.  I'm not giving them sodas and french fries every meal (hardly ever, actually), and we cook for them nearly every night--and not food from a box or fried in grease.  They eat some vegetables and quite a bit of fruit.  They are very active kids and beg to play outside. They are healthy and rarely get sick.  They are going to be fine.

3--Finances.  Ugh.  Again, will there ever be enough money? Probably not.  Freaking out over every penny we spend certainly doesn't help.  There will always be the crappy things that happen like the major car repair that popped up right in time for the holidays.  Chalk it up to bad luck.  I'm just thankful that we have everything we need.  We have a great house that's been an unexpected blessing to our growing family and a vehicle that can tote us all at once. We are able to keep plenty of groceries and feed our bunch.  Yeah, we have a "wish list" of things we'd like to have.  I know the new carpet and bedroom furniture can wait for a while, but sometimes I just want it!  I promise for the new year that I'll be happy with what we have instead of always wanting more.

I've basically just decided to LET IT BE.  All of it.  It is what it is, and it's the best we can do.  I want to roll around in the floor and color with my kids. I'm going to keep the clothes washed, but ignore the baskets of clean clothes waiting to be folded.  And who really enjoys mopping anyway?  Happy New Year everyone!

Giving Thanks

Over the past month, people have been writing about things they are thankful for all over Facebook and on blogs. I didn't jump on the bandwagon, like I have in the past. Why, you ask? I think it's simply because most days I am just thankful for weird things.  I'm thankful to get Big Sis to school before the tardy bell. Thankful to get to work with two of the same shoes  on. Thankful to make it through another day without losing my mind.

But this week something happened. I was having a particularly rough week; yelling at the kids a lot, being crabby to the hubs and being overwhelmed at work.  Even my blood pressure was skyrocketing! I blame most of this on that self-imposed need to be Super Mom, Super Employee and Super Everything Else. It sucks. We were planning to round up the troops and head across the state to spend Thanksgiving with my family, but The Universe had other plans. The transmission on our family vehicle went out earlier in the week...it's in the shop and likely will be until the end of next week. That means today, Thanksgiving Day, our family of five is home cooking, eating and celebrating alone. And you know what? It was fantastic! We slept in till 8:00am, cooked a feast and watched some TV.  Sure, I missed my family today.  But I also didn't have to pack a suitcase for five people and travel 4-5 hours across the state with a kid that has to stop at every public restroom along the way. I got to relax a little, hang out at home and take a long walk with my kids. Sure, it will cost a small fortune to repair our van, but we'll manage.  Not the best timing with Christmas coming up, but we'll manage. I have three more glorious days off work to stay home and be with my family. I'm going to remember how lucky I am and enjoy every minute of it.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

It's Twin Tuesday!

*Goofing around the other day. I'm sure someone was just about to stick a finger into the outlet. Because, as you can see, one outlet is not covered.  Again, Mother of the Year.  

Here's a fact:  Boy Twin and Girl Twin have both been testing my patience lately. And my sanity. (The 5-year-old is doing her share, too...but that's for another post). They are always on the move--mostly running--and they are becoming increasingly more demanding. What can be more demanding than two infants simultaneously crying for a bottle and a diaper change, you ask?

Answer: two toddlers constantly saying, "I want a drink, I need a snack, hold me, s/he hit me,...." and so on.  Oh, and they fight--A LOT. Unless there is hair pulling or biting, we usually let them fight it out. In fact, the other night I found myself sitting on the couch yelling, "Push him back!" I know, right now you are thinking about what a great mom I am.

Girl Twin has become a very bossy bird.  When she's really feeling sassy, she calls her brother by his full name before shouting out her demand.  Really, it's quite funny.

Boy Twin has been super dramatic this week.  He's throwing fits and screaming in a very annoying, high-pitched tone.  Need an example?  I opened the fridge to put in his half-empty cup of milk.  As I shut the door, he got really agitated, threw himself onto the floor and cried, "My do it!"  When I finally figured out what he wanted, I had to open the fridge back up just so he could close the door himself!

Ahh, twins.  A pair of two-year-olds.  Some days they make me laugh and some days they make me cry.  But every day I wonder if this will be the day I lose it.

It's Twin Tuesday!

As I've been watching the kids lately, it's made me do a lot of thinking.  I mainly think about how different life is now compared to when they were babies.  People ask me all the time, "Is it getting easier?" My reply is always the same: "Not really easier, but just a different hard."  That probably sounds silly to most people, but it's the best way to explain our crazy life.  Hard is trying to simultaneously bottle feed two babies who can't sit up.  Hard is traveling alone with a toddler who needs to go potty, while also having to haul two infant carriers into the stall because you can't leave them in the car.  Hard is going through 2,400 diapers in six months.  Hard is paying for all those diapers and bottles.

Having gone from one child to three, I often stop to wonder what is really most overwhelming to me---having two kids the same age, or just having three kids, period.  Is everyone who has three kids this tired, or this busy or this stressed out?  Or am I just a wimp?  I used to have a clean house, we never left dirty dishes in the sink and always had time to watch TV at night.  Now, I'm lucky to even sit down between coming home from work and falling into bed way too late.  I'd be embarrassed for any guests to come over and see my messy house, if I wasn't too tired to care.  Any free time I have is spent playing outside, taking the kids for walks and reading lots of board books.  Is it easier?  No, it's just different.

Really, I'm different.  I know the short few hours I spend with the kids at night are so special.  I know that, even when they are being brats, they love me and they sure don't care if the dishes are washed.  And I'm OK with that.  The people in my office totally know what's up when I wear a dress three days in a row because that's all the clean clothes I have.  I know that there is sometimes work that I need to bring home from the office; but I also know that sometimes I just need to leave work at work and focus on being mommy at home.  At the end of the day, the diaper changing, butt wiping and breaking up fights is my number-one job.  It may not pay me with money, but I have a bank full of love.

Oh, and I'm glad that Lee hasn't gotten his fill of crazy and headed for the hills. Not yet, anyway.