Bramell, Party of Five: A Window Into My Life

Thursday, June 6, 2013

A Window Into My Life

And now, because I know you have all been waiting patiently, here is my essay that I read in the Listen to Your Mother show in Northwest Arkansas on May 30.  The You Tube video will be posted later this summer....hopefully the edited version, which will NOT show me tripping off the stage.

My Hands Are Full, But So Is My Heart
Once upon a time there was a happy couple with one sweet daughter.  One day, the wife lost her mind and suggested that they have another baby.  Let this story be a lesson to be very careful what you wish for.  And be very specific.  You see, this story is about me; I’m that wife.  And we didn’t get one more baby, we got two. Yes, twins—a boy and a girl.  
Being the mother of twins has been such a crazy experience.  The crazy actually started on the day we found out I was carrying twins, at 19 ½ weeks!  Now, I’m no genius, but this wasn’t my first pregnancy either.  Shouldn’t we have known this much, much sooner in the process?  Talk about a shock!  Even my doctor was shocked and speechless.  My reaction?  First, I cried.  Then, I laughed.  Hysterically.  My husband turned pale and never said a word.  Several nurses came into the exam room to check on us during that visit.  By “check on us,” I mean to make sure we weren’t about to jump off the roof or something. 
By the time I came to terms with what was going on inside my body, I realized that I wasn’t entirely prepared to deal with other people.  I don’t know if it was due to a double dose of hormones or what, but people just started to annoy me.  Don’t tell anyone, but I once yelled at a Walmart checker for being too slow.  I felt really badly about it for a little while. 
The biggest problem I had was with random, nosey strangers who asked stupid, and often, very personal questions.  By far, the most often asked question was, “What are you going to do?” after I told someone I was expecting twins.  My answer came with a smile and a shrug, “Oh, we’ll manage.”  By the 234th time I was asked that, I’d come up with a better answer, such as:  “I’m thinking of ditching them at the hospital.”   
Another popular question was, “Oh my, how are you going to afford two babies?”  This is not a good question to ask someone who is suddenly and unexpectedly faced with the challenge of needing a bigger house, a bigger vehicle and feeding and diapering two babies. That one could have easily gotten a few people punched. 
Unfortunately, the dumb questions didn’t stop after the twins were born.  Early on, I got asked a lot if they are identical….usually while they were with me, dressed in blue and pink, respectively.  I’d just take a deep breath and politely point out that one is a boy and the other is a girl.  Deep down, just one time, I really wanted to say, “No, my daughter doesn’t have a penis!”  Seriously, I cannot be the only person who understands anatomy.  They are almost three years old now, and thankfully, we rarely get asked that question anymore. 
Besides biting my tongue, this crazy experience has taught me so much about myself and what it means to be a mom.  For example, I learned that I’m stronger than I thought, both mentally and physically.  Have you ever tried to walk while holding two infant carriers at once?  Not easy.  And I’m not that graceful to begin with. 
I’ve also learned some other valuable life skills, such as making a peanut butter sandwich with one hand, bottle feeding two wobbly-headed infants at the same time and driving across the state alone, with three kids under age five.  I really don’t recommend trying that last one.  Oh! And I can also fall asleep on demand, anytime and anywhere.  That one is really a blessing and a curse. 

But perhaps most importantly, I’ve figured out what that saying “my cup runneth over” means.  There’s nothing better than coming home from work and being met at the door by my three sweeties.  As difficult as it can be sometimes, I know that I was born to be their mommy…to love them, teach them and watch them grow.  I love watching them play together and figure out things together.  They are at such a special age now, full of questions and mischief.  But I know it will all go by too quickly.
Yes, I’ve been blessed so much that my cup does indeed runneth over.  But, sadly, the dishes in my sink and the laundry in the hamper also runneth over. 


  1. Love it! So glad you got to share this with so many people. You have a gift :)

  2. I LOVE this! Beautifully said. Let me say that adoption brings on some doozy questions too. "Does he speak English?" (Um, he is 7 months old...he speaks baby...) Anyway, love what you said...I can't wait to see the video. :)

  3. Fabulous! Great job, Rhonda!

  4. I had to stick around and read more posts. I loved this one. I love listen to your mother show when it comes to Philly or NYC.


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