Bramell, Party of Five: Kinda feels like being naked in public....

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Kinda feels like being naked in public....

I am going to share with you, my faithful readers. I've done something that makes me really uncomfortable. But I wanted to do it. I needed to do it. I submitted an essay about motherhood to a local event that is having auditions for a show in April. The first step is to submit the writing, then wait to see if you are called for an audition to read in person.  It's called the Listen to Your Mother Show.  Apparently, they are having it only in a few cities across the country. The link is if you want to check it out. Little shy me, you know. This is not something that I'd normally do. But I am experimenting with my writing. Guess we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.

Here is the essay that I submitted. I might as well share it, because you might be the only audience I get. And keep in mind that EVERY BIT of this is true. Comments and critiques are welcome. Comments like, "Man, you are crazy!" are not. Just sayin.

Welcome to the Big Top

Rhonda Bramell

Springdale, AR

I am the mother of three kids under age 5, including a set of twins. Let that sink in. Three kids under five. I know what you are thinking. Yes, I have my hands full. Yes, I drive a minivan. Most days I feel like the ringleader of a three-ring circus. In case you think I’m exaggerating, I will share with you what a typical day is like at my house. If you aren’t tired after reading this, then you are welcome to come over and babysit anytime. Like now.

My husband works early morning hours, which leaves me to handle the morning rush alone. I have to force myself out of bed to get the children up, dressed, fed and out the door to daycare. Add in feeding the dog, making lunches, packing the diaper bag and finding lost binkies, and I feel like I’ve run a marathon by 9:00 a.m. Then I head to my full-time job, or vacation, as I like to call it.

The twins are 1 ½ now, and getting to be more manageable. By that I mean that I don’t have to cage them anymore just to take a shower and dress myself. After all, I have a four-year-old to entertain and torment them while I’m busy. Our daily schedule looks pretty much like that movie Groundhog Day, where the same thing happens over and over. Here is what I can count on happening:

1) We will be late. Every day.

2) Someone will stick food in his or her ear.

3) Boy Twin will poop his diaper at 8:50 a.m., without fail. This happens to be the exact time we need to be loading up the minivan to leave for daycare. See item #1.

4) Girl Twin will loudly scream “MOMMY” approximately 652 times.

5) My oldest daughter will tattle on the twins and cry when they take away her toys, even though she is older and outweighs them by 15 pounds.

My poor husband, who is awesome by the way, comes home every day to the ransacked house that smells like dirty diapers and looks like an F4 tornado blew through. He may get a few peaceful hours to himself before he picks up the kids, but most days he is just busy trying to repair the morning’s damage.

The evening routine is almost as daunting as the morning. After the morning craziness, working at my “other” job all day and the mommy guilt of actually having to be at work, I’m beat when I come home. The bright spot in the whole thing is that my wonderful hubby usually has dinner on the stove when I walk in. The little monkeys tackle me when I get home, as if I’ve been gone for a week. Girl Twin literally will cry herself into a frenzy unless I immediately pick her up. I have to sit down in the floor so all three kids can crawl on me. Being missed is a wonderful feeling!

The absolute hardest part of my day is the time from when I walk in the door after work until the kids are in bed. This is crunch time, as we’ve got roughly 2 ½ hours to have dinner, clean up, bathe the kids, have playtime and get them down. Don’t even get me started on bathing three kids! A drain in the middle of the bathroom floor would be helpful. And a pooper scooper.

By 9:00 p.m., the house is quiet and my husband and I are again faced with the all-important decision to watch CSI or wash dishes. We get about five minutes into a show then both pass out. I swear, our DVR is so full that I think it might explode. We peel ourselves off the couch and move to the bed, ready to do it all again tomorrow.

People ask us all the time “How do you do it?” In reality, I should answer, “Barely.” But really, we have adapted. I’ll trade the old days of lounging on the couch watching TV for giggles, hugs and playing peekaboo any day. I’ve decided that as long as my kids are clean, fed and loved, that’s all that really matters. Just let someone judge me on the pile of dishes in my sink or the stains on my work clothes. Not only am I the ring leader in this circus, but I’m the star juggler, too.


  1. I absolutely love it!!! I love reading the stuff you write! I love you and our "baby daddy". Thanks for the job you do with my nieces and nephew!!! They are precious!

    Aunt Nanette

  2. I think it is great and you are very witty with your words. Keep us posted!


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